The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize