She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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