Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
