Your mouth is God's brothel.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
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At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You've changed since you got that strap on
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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