i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
