you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
two words: eviction party
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
