I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
