i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
The beer is more important than you right now.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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