we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
The convent might be a nice break from real life
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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