Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Its about making memories worth repressing
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
