My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
