Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
