Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
We need to rekindle our bromance
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize