If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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