you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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