I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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