Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
