Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
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If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
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We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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