this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
