Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
