yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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