Dual....:-)
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
