you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
