getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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