I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
