I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
