it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I want a musical about memes.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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