Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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