I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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