he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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