How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
