can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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