Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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