this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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