Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
