Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
