New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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