We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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