i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
you will always have a special place in my vag
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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