May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
