worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
