do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
they need to just BURY HIM!
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
