I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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