remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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