so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
