hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize