I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
