She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You are the jesus of drinking
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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