Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I'm at about main and main street
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
