So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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