I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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