It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize