There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
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