Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Is her dick bigger than yours?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
