she smelled like a LAN party
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
