Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize