Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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