bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
