so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
