So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
