so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
