so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
