Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
