Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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