i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
