my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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