He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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