This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
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It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
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I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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