At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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