She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
