and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
